The Main

Smoked meat can be found everywhere in Montreal. We put it on our burgers, serve it with our eggs, and, of course, on top of poutine. Traditionally you’d find it stacked high and sandwiched between two slices of light rye bread with a bit of mustard. The quality of the meat is key, but arguing over who serves the better smoked meat is pointless and can potentially instigate riots. In my opinion, when there’s a huge queue developing outside of Schwartz’s, I often find myself wondering why people just don’t go across the street to The Main.

The Main’s atmosphere is like any aged greasy spoon diner. At best, it can wow you in its cleanliness and restoration, but is hardly the pinnacle of decor. Its green and purple booths are perhaps outdated enough to appear retro and chic in another environment, if only they weren’t paired with fake pearl-marbled tabletops that will never be back in style.

Giant illuminated pictures of well-charred meat in unusual combinations, such as a steak and hot dog platter, adorn the upper wall behind the counter. The $12.95 rib steak and Main special are advertised on quickly written signs throughout the restaurant, and cheap Boreale and house wine plaques are plastered nearby. Besides the usual selection of burgers, steaks and chicken, there’s also a variety of cold cuts, latkas, chopped liver, karnatzel and other such Jewish fare.

Pretty much everything comes with the prerequisite “sours” - coleslaw and pickle, as well as fries and probably a beverage. For my money, The Main makes a fantastic coleslaw, stripped down to its basics without any herbs, just thinly sliced cabbage coated in just enough oil, vinegar and sugar to give it a nice tang and the right amount of onion to give it a kick. Their fries aren’t too shabby either; small, roughly cut house fries that are crispy and well seasoned.

If you’re looking for something a bit out of the ordinary, and unordinarily delicious, might I suggest the club roll. Not to be confused with a club sandwich, as it is completely dissimilar, consisting of a large sesame seed bun and what I’d swear is the sum total of a pound of meat, consisting of a 1/4 pound of each of the following: stuffed chicken, smoked meat, salami and tongue.

That last one’s a bit of a deal breaker for some people, but I assure you it does not resemble tongue, as it is thinly sliced like a cold cut, and is an integral component of this sandwich as it is grilled and lends a smoky charcoal flavor. It’s amazing that four such different meats can cooperate in such a dynamic. Don’t let all the old Jewish guys with quadruple bypasses have all the fun! For $7.95, if you can manage to finish this sandwich, you won’t have to eat for a week! I believe I muttered, “That was ridiculous,” at least a dozen times after finishing one. If you are of the conservative lot, the remaining selections are still sure to please.