One Flu Over The Cuckoo’s Nest

Shannon suggested I take the day off of work and I wasn't about to argue with her. I feel bad because it's my last week there and it looks like I'm skipping out, but I am honestly sick! I can't help it. I have no appetite whatsoever and basically spent the day in bed, awake from the hours of 11am to 2pm and then again from 7pm to 10pm, sleeping for the rest. Since it's the end of the year and I'm sick (no pun intended) of making up for dinners where I was hungover or my oven exploded or I was just plain lazy, I'm simply going to document my cough syrup, which is all I "ate" besides juice and dry toast.

New Benylin Extra Strength DM-D-E-A-AH

1000 mg extra strength Acetaminophen
A pain killer (Tylenol) that relieves pain, fever, chills, headache, body aches and sore throat.

30 mg Dextromethorphan Hydrobromide
A cough suppressant that controls dry coughs for up to 8 hours.

60 mg Pseudoephedrine Hydrochloride
A decongestant that relieves nasal congestion.

200mg Guaifenesin
An expectorant, which, besides being a cool word, loosens mucus and phlegm in the chest.

4mg Chlorpheniramine Maleate
An antihistamine that relieves runny nose, sneezing and itchy, watery eyes.

Then, either for fun or for delicious cough syrup flavor, they've also added alcohol, artificial sweetness enhancer (aspartame?), benzyl alcohol, citric acid (fruity goodness!), D & C Red no 33, flavor (?), glycerin, menthol (minty goodness!), monoammonium glycyrrhizinate, polyethylene (isn't that the compound in chocolate that triggers that same thing in your brain that lights up when you're in love?) glycol, saccharin sodium (a sweetened salt?), sodium benzoate, sodium carboxymethylcellulose, sodium citrate, sodium cyclamate, sorbitol (guess that wasn't the artificial sweetness enhancer) and water.

I don't think there's a single cold and flu symptom this stuff doesn't cover. I don't really take a lot of medicine for anything, but this seems like a ridiculous amount. Isn't that like taking 2 extra strength Tylenols every 4 hours? Yikes. I take one normal strength one when I rarely have a headache and that's more than enough. I'm not sure if it's just the dextromethorphan that makes me sleepy, but this totally knocks me out. It certainly helped me catch up on my rest and I'm feeling much better now, a day later, at the time of writing this. I'm not even going to bother spell checking this entry because it's going to give me another headache. Let's just assume everything was typed correctly.